Surfacing

it rears it’s ugly
head once more
this emotional rage
why am i angry
why am i angry
why am i angry
to the point of
heart burn
looking to the past
for an answer
in the present
these emotions
i seek to control
and understand
to own them
rationalize
and utilize

i’m angry at
being angry
and have no recourse
a rigid suit
of armour
pierces my body
i really want to scream
why am i angry
increasing depth
why am i angry
what purpose does
it serve
and where did i learn
this to be acceptable
i don’t want this
reaction
response
burning up inside
churning
turning
me inside out
and outside in

it’s stuck between
my heart and my throat
like a clenched fist
that must insist
persist
like a,
no it is
a disease
ages the body
constricts
and bulges out of
my veins
cannot feed it
need to
cathartically
transmute

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